Hartford Hall on School Lane is a hotel and restaurant in Hartford, near Northwich, Cheshire. From their website and indeed, from the outside of their building, the place looks smart; one might even say 'posh'. However, appearances can be (and often are) deceiving!
This restaurant is most definitely a place of mixed messages. Once inside, the decor is something akin to gastro-pub, with mismatched furniture and faux upmarketness. The waiting staff look slovenly with dirty trainers, unkempt jeans, and no uniformity to any of it. The lighting was dim and I had to ask them to turn it up! Whilst the background music, which should perhaps have been light classical to try and blend in with the idea of 'romantic hotel' which is how it is trying to be marketed, was contemporary pop.
Reading the menu one would be under the misapprehension that their kitchen boasted a Michelin-starred chef, however, it transpires that these meals are seemingly bought in en masse and one of the kitchen staff simply puts the dishes into a microwave before presenting them to their guests.
My companion and I chose a baked camembert for the starter. For some reason, beyond our comprehension, this is only for two people. Why smaller camemberts could not be used for a single starter, is obviously beyond the reaches of this establishment. The chees came overcooked with no utensils or separate plates...I imagine they expected us to pick up the sourdough bread and dip it into the cheese, but without side plates or any cutlery. We had to ask for these! The sourdough bread was inedible. Rather than simply charring it (as it states on the menu) it had been soaked in butter beforehand, and so came to the table tasting like poorly fried bread, and tasted vile. The red onion chutney (undoubtedly bought and brought in from a large catering jar) was actually very tasty.
My companion's main course, beef shin from the Specials Menu, was nicely presented, cooked to perfection, and was the highlight, or perhaps the only ameliorating factor to the entire visit. Sadly, my choice of main course, Duo Of Duck, was just the opposite. It was the two slices of duck breast which caused the problem here. The duck was presented to me red and undercooked, and so I asked them to cook it for longer, distinctly requesting it to be 'well done'. After the second time of sending it back, I gave up... there was no difference at all in the cooking of the duck, and I realised that they were simply putting it back into the microwave and so of course it would not cook the duck further, just heat it! The skin was wet and rubbery, and the duck flesh still very pink!
At the table opposite us, a couple ordered ale-battered fish and chips, and when it was presented to them, it looked exactly like the fish and chips I eat regularly from my local chippy! No difference at all! They even had a bottle of Sarsons vinegar on the table!
And with the prices they charge for this 'service' I would advise giving this pseudo-upmarket establishment a wide berth!
Reviewer - Matthew Dougall
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