No Sex Please, We're British is a British farce written by Alistair Foot and Anthony Marriott, which premiered in London's West End on 3rd June 1971 at the Strand Theatre. It was panned by critics, but ran until 5th September 1987, transferring to the Garrick Theatre and the Duchess Theatre during the run of 6,761 performances.
Hope Street Theatre is a small, intimate theatre and it was a full house waiting expectantly for the show to begin. Directed by Shaun Chambers, The Northern Comedy Theatre cast, Farron Ronan (Frances), Kieran Maleedy (Peter), Franklyn Jacks (Runnicles), Kathryn Chambers (Eleanor), Tony O'Keeffe (Mr Bromhead), Kieran McLaren (Constable Paul), Chelsea McCann (Susan), Elaina Halstead (Barbara) and Arnold Needham (Steven Arnold, Coronation Street TV star aka Ashley Peacock) delivered this 1970’s farce with attention to detail and enthusiasm revelling in the absurdity of the plot and the chaos which ensued.
The set remained constant throughout the production portraying the inside of a small flat above a bank with very 1970’s styling, a leatherette sofa and chair, a drinks trolley and a serving hatch in the living room through which we could see the small kitchen. A number of doors led off to different rooms, a study, a bathroom, a spare bedroom and a beaded curtain draped a hallway which led to the master bedroom. There was also an entrance to an upstairs bedroom made use of by a couple of the characters. An intercom with a buzzer let the residents know if there was anyone at the front door requiring to be let in.
Young, newly married couple, Peter and Frances Hunter live in the flat above the bank where Peter is the assistant bank manager. Frances innocently sends off to a mail order company for some Scandinavian glassware, thinking she can sell it and boost the household budget, as she really wants a house of their own with a garden instead of the flat above the bank. But instead of the glassware, she receives Scandinavian pornography.
The couple enlist the help of the bank's eccentric chief cashier, Brian Runnicles in order to decide how to get rid of the abundance of pornographic photographs, books, films and eventually girls that threaten to endanger the reputation of the happy couple. A number of characters complicate matters by visiting the couple. Eleanor (Peter's snobby mother) turns up by Peter’s invitation and decides to outstay her welcome by staying longer than anticipated. Mr. Bromhead (Peter’s boss) who has a soft spot for Eleanor, arrives to take her out, Mr. Needham (a visiting bank inspector) turns up unexpectedly a day early and asks if he can stay the night and Vernon Paul (a police superintendent) arrives to investigate why the side door of the bank has been left open.
They all become inextricably entangled in the rumbustious events that follow as the couple try, but fail, to keep things under control.
There were a few sound problems at the start as it was very difficult to hear Farron Ronan (Frances) delivering her lines, but this improved as the play progressed and there were a few problems with the serving hatch. The cast combined to deliver this farce with comic timing and a plethora of absurdity proving that British farce still remains popular with theatre-goers. The plot is very dated of course, views on pornography and access to it have changed enormously since the 1970’s, the internet not having been around at that time, but the audience seemed to enjoy the stroll down memory lane and the laughs it provided.
It's memorable to note that the part of Brian Runnicles was first played on the London stage by Michael Crawford, who adopted a persona similar to that of his later character, Frank Spencer, in the television sitcom Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em.
The show runs from 19th – 22nd February 2025.
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